Personal Assistant / Happy Dog Entertainment Director

Personal Assistant / Happy Dog Entertainment Director

Guaranteed to be the Coolest Job Ever!

A Life-Changing Opportunity!

Your Parents Will (finally) Be Proud!

Duties Include:

Walking the Dogs.

Taking the Dogs to the Park.

Throwing the Ball.

Running Errands.

Driving Errands (much faster).

Going to Target.

Going to Costco.

Going back to Target because I forgot to put something on the list.

Calling and Making Appointments.

Calling and Canceling Appointments.

Coming up with BELIEVABLE excuses about why I am canceling my appointments.

General Cleaning.

Admiral Cleaning.

Vacuuming.

Windexing.

409ing.

Laundry Duty.

Jury Duty (posing as me).

Taking the car to the car wash.

Wrestling the big dog to the dog wash (he knows…)

And a ton of other random tasks.

Extra Special Brownie Points

if you can do any of these things:

Fly a helicopter.

Talk to coyotes.

Cook Thai food.

Make cool gadgets.

Pick winning lottery numbers.

Build Tiny Houses in the desert.

Bust out Oompa-Loompa style song and dance routines whenever something interesting happens.

Other Useful, but Arguably

Not As Cool Skills:

Video Editing

Wordpress

Product Photography

Product Listing

Gardening

Accounting

If you think you can handle these tough and grueling assignments then please send me an email. Put the words "Ninja Bear" in the subject title. This is how I will know it's you, and not my cousin Robbie sending me conspiracy theories about alien lizards controlling the Vatican. (He's really concerned about this BTW)

In the body of the email please include the following info:

Name:

Phone Number:

Available Days and Hours:

Current Responsibilities (school, kids, etc):

Personal Hobbies:

Favorite Song:

Where do you want to be in 10 years?

Why should I hire you?

If I like what I read then I will give you a call to set-up an interview. Please, be who you say you are, and not an alien lizard. I've never been to the Vatican. I want no part in these intergalactic shenanigans. I'm looking for someone who is dependable, and enjoys working in a positive environment with endless corny jokes.

Thank you,

- Joel Tiger

Feel free to stalk me on Instagram: @joelofthetigers

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